Well, its been almost a year since I've written in this...Honestly, I've been meaning to, but I don't quite know how to illustrate to people what has happened. My life has basically crumbled before me in the matter of months, although its been happening slowly since my parents passed. I have been homeless again for the past few months. I slept outside and in the same clothes, as before, but this time it was a lot more difficult since I knew what it was like to be well-established. I feel like the transition from having nothing to even less was way easier to deal with then the transition from having it all to nothing. We will have time to catch up later, as I will make it a point to write in this again. Through the horrible weather, the people staring, the inquisitive children, the persistent sickness, and the lack of any materialistic belonging, I know I at least have this to write. Sadly, its the only thing I have.

When I remembered that I had to do this, I slept on a bench close to the library for several days and noticed that the employees locked every door except the side one closest to a row of homes. Luckily there was a bench on that side of the building too which quickly became my home the next few days while I checked out how I could sneak in. Although it was a public library, the employees would never let me go in, not even to use their facilities. I tried not to make eye contact with the employees because I felt like they could easily peer into my mind and know I was plotting to break into their library and use their computers...but then it hit me. It wasn't THEIR library, it was mine too! I had just as much right to be there as any other person. After all, it was a public place, was it not? No where on the library did it say "welcome everyone except for Bandy". It was that night that I placed all my fears behind me and walked through the unlocked door. I chose a computer that wasn't near a window in case someone would pass by and see the light. The whole time I was there, my stomach tossed and turned thinking "what if there is a cleaning person that comes through". My anxiety skyrocketed so much that I immediately turned the computer off and left the premises immediately. Apparently, I still needed a few days to think my plan through. Now I'm here. Typing quickly and keeping an eye on the time. Before I came to sit down, I passed through a break room where I saw a Nature Valley Oats n' Honey granola bar just sitting on the counter. I felt like it stood up and begged me to take it out of its misery. Feeling bad for the poor lonely granola bar, I made him a new home in my tummy. From the letters he sends, I hear it's better than the counter top. So, all is well.

Last time I wrote, I talked about Yolonda. Well, I got my job at the bakery, and Yolonda and I quickly fell in love. We had to remain professional among the high school kids who worked part time on the weekends, but during the week, we were all play, no cookies. All a memory now. I have to go back to my bench. There is a little girl who always sneaks food and water out to me in the middle of the night, so I don't want to miss my daily drop off.