Four years passed and I got called down to see a visitor. I swore under my breath, but my stomach contained butterflies at the anticipation of who would be on the other side of that glass window. I sat down at seat number three and picked up the phone before even looking to see who was there. "what.", I muttered. "Hello, Bandy." My eyes grew wide and with an open mouth I looked up to see her. Yolonda. All the hatred I had built up in me seemed to disappear in the matter of a second. My heart leapt and raced and the knots in my stomach became tighter. She had a shorter hair cut now but still the same radiance she had always portrayed. The purple blouse she was wearing made her blue eyes pop, and the gold cross necklace that hung perfectly on her chest made her seem more angelic than ever. She somehow made the simplest things look like that of royalty. "Wh-..Why..or...who...aa-.." I couldn't form a complete thought because of the shock that overtook my body and temporarily paralyzed me and my ability to speak. She laughed and said hello again. "Why are you here?" was all I could think to ask her. She looked confused as the smile drained from her face. "Aren't you happy to see me?" she asked inquisitively. "Of course I am, I just..Its been...I mean, I'm here because...-" "I know". She looked at me for a minute and I felt like she could read my thoughts. I instantly flashed back to the last time I saw her as I was being carried away in a police car. "I'm so sorry" was all I thought reasonable to say. She smiled and said it was ok and that she was here to tell me something important. I perked up and rested my elbows on the small counter in front of me. I was thinking of the things to say in response to her confession of love towards me. I mean, why else would she come to see me? Why else would she remember me after all of these years? It was obvious that in her time away from me, I had latched onto her mind like a leech and refused to let go. To this, she decided to give in and miss me terribly each day until she finally broke down and realized it was time to come confess her undying love. What would be the appropriate response to something so great? Could this even be real? I didn't want to react too suddenly and make her think I was crazy...although, I might've already done that with the whole murdering her boyfriend thing. But I didn't want to be too passive and push her away. "I'm getting married", she said suddenly, "I wanted to come tell you because I don't want any problems when you get out. You need to forget about me and you need to move on. You're a great person and you have so much-.." I stopped listening because of disbelief. My heart just broke all over again and my anger flared up at twice the rate. How could she come in here to tell me that? Why wouldn't she just write me a letter? Why would she need to tell me at all? I interrupted her with the only response I saw fit which was "don't flatter yourself, bitch." Her jaw dropped as I hung up the phone and the guards escorted me back to my cell.
I walked briskly, well, as briskly as I could with shackles around my ankles, and with tears in my eyes. I would not cry. Men don't cry. Especially in prison. I kept coming up with different reasons in my head why I could tell my cell mate that I was clearly upset. I layed down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling in hopes that the tears would listen to gravity and just go back into my eyes. This didn't work. I began to weep as my thoughts overtook me. I should've said something different. I should've listened to her. Maybe she was going to tell me that she was just getting married for the remainder of my prison sentence so she wasn't lonely and then she would divorce him upon my arrival back into society. "This is fucking crazy.", I thought I said to myself until my cell mate replied with "I hear you, boy, I should've been out a looooong time ago.." I wanted to bash his head against the wall for intruding on my moments of introspection. Just when I was about to react on such a brilliant idea, I realized that it would only get me more jail time, which in turn was longer that I was away from Yolonda, which was longer that she had to be with her husband, and be unhappy without me. I couldn't have Yolonda be unhappy with a false marriage. Therefore I released my clenched fists and imagined a way to escape.
Days passed and the only conclusion I drew from my mind running in circles around Yolonda is that I loved her. I really loved her. Never once did I think it was unrequited, although in retrospection, I should have because it would've saved me from what was about to come next.
